Fear is actually the foundation of most of our human actions. It’s one of three reasons we do anything at all; the 2nd is LOVE and the 3rd is Relief or our desire to feel better! The amazing thing is that all three of these factors, to an untrained mind, can trigger the use and abuse of drugs and alcohol, leading to full blown addiction. The purpose of this conversation is to offer another perspective on this whole idea of fears, in order to raise your level of consciousness to experience long term recovery.
Innately, we only have two fears; the fear of falling and the fear of loud noise. All else is learned behavior. That’s Right! We have learned to create and chronically manufacture fears. To some degree,society has developed an addiction to fear. Addicts, for example, are not fearful of their future. They are fearful of repeating their past.
In my Life Coaching practice, my clients learn to really take a step back and process the idea of fear, being viewed as the mind’s way of exposing areas of our lives that need work. Wayne Dyer said “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change!” He is suggesting that we always have a choice.
All our lives we have been taught what to think. We are long overdue for learning how to think. I like to say, we as humans, we have three super powers. Our ability to THINK, FEEL and CHOOSE! Our power lies in our awareness that you cannot have a feeling without a preceding thought and to realize we have the ability to choose what we think about, which will drive how we feel. Did you get that? Read the above statement over and over until you can fully digest its intent and importance. Void of this awareness, we will continue to live in the perceptual prison of fear that is driven by A.N.T.s* Automatic Negative Thoughts (John Assaraf)
Consciously or unconsciously, we give Everything Meaning! To this end, it’s easy to understand, There Is No Big or Small Fear… JUST FEAR and we create fears by the following formula: Events + Perception = Our Experience, Our Reality, and drives our responses.
During the most recent crisis, consumer perception caused the idea of not enough toilet paper to become an issue across the country. Fear caused many to go from spinning toilet paper like it was the wheel of fortune, to turning the roll like cracking a safe!!!
All emotions are valid because our Emotions tell us what we’re thinking. So when we feel fear, we are obviously thinking about something that scares us. Fear drives our focus to our inadequacies, the I’m NOT enough, strong enough. Our fear of the unknown drives our self-talk to The What ifs! It trains our brains to believe. I am my feelings; I Am hungry, I Am angry, I Am Tired, I Am broke!!! But we are not any of these things. This is only how we feel, which is thought driven!!!
When we feel fear, we have an allergic reaction! Like an involuntary sneeze. Our breath becomes shallow, the heart beats faster, we may even sweat!
The body’s reaction is very similar when we’re excited! In reality, there is a thin line between feeling excitement and fear. In fact, research in Neuroscience tells us that motivation and excitement LIVE in the EXACT same part of the brain where fear is generated!
Meaning, there is a thin line between fear and excitement! This is to our advantage because in case you didn’t know, the brain can focus on only one thing at a time. And who gets to choose where that focus goes? We Do! My clients come into the awareness of their inner voice and how we are influenced by that voice. Clients discover they can trust and follow that inner voice.
*One technique to raising consciousness, is to understand, Fear And Worries Are A Misuse Of IMAGINATION and imagination is power! Fear and worry are Prayers For The OPPOSITE OF WHAT WE WANT!
Armed with this new awareness, we can Choose to see Fear as the brain’s alarm alerting us, we have something to work on and the possibility, that I’m Thinking contrary to who I Am! Dr. Rob Gilber says “It’s alright to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation.” If choice is a function of conscious awareness and where we are right now, is a result of our choices, what does our current situation say about our level of consciousness?
*Shifting our self-talk is another technique clients master to elevate their level of consciousness. The willingness to accept the awareness that whatever we say after I AM….We become!
How can we shift our internal dialogue about a fearful situation to a position of Power??? Instead of telling your God how big our problems are, we can start telling our problems how big our God Is! I am willing to be bigger than my fear…. It Is “your fear.” Changing our fearful thoughts of the future from the What ifs, to Wouldn’t it be nice if and leave your Only ifs, in the past!
A mind full of fear has no room for dreams.
Imagine being on the Serengeti. A lion or tiger roars, the brain sends danger signals to the body. The fear causes all the nonessential body functions to shut down. In that moment, there can be no growth or repairs in the body and your breath becomes shallow, it’s fight or flight. The lion or tiger leaves the area and all the animals go back to their normal activities. But not you! Difference between humans and animals, is the ability to reflect! For humans, The lion or tiger leaves. But the perception of them are ever present and never leave our memory. Our danger signals never turn off! Our bodies are not designed to be in a prolonged state of fight or flight! Yet many of us live in this space!!! Without training our brain or raising our consciousness, we will search outside ourselves for relief. I always say, “If you don’t know what you’re reaching for, you will reach back for what you know!”
Consciously using our power of choice is what I call Mental Hygiene and is pertinent to interrupting fear, becoming sober on your own and maintaining sobriety.
“With everything that has happened to you, you can feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” ~Wayne Dyer~